Feed Me, Seymour!

These are my tomatoes, peppers, Swiss Chard, and dill that I started 3 or 4 weeks ago. The light height setting is now about as high as it can go. I intended to transplant them into the raised bed this weekend, but I got a bee in my bonnet and started another project.  Its not like I need to get into that cabinet where my glasses and medicines are.  LOL

So I was thinking about it a few weeks ago and I decided I do not like my front yard.  The thriving weeds from the heavy rains in Cali this year did not help.  The house came with Sweet Pea bushes and I have never really liked them.  I wanted hydrangeas in the front yard ever since I was a little girl.  Back East we referred to them as snowballs, and I always said that if I ever had a house I would have them in my front yard.  One of the sweet pea bushes was totally dead, so I said today was the day.  I cut it up and dug it out.  I am proud of myself, but I am going to be hurtin' for certain tomorrow. I also cleared a couple of flower beds, which took half a day.  (I had been grieving so much for the past few months that I could not deal with my front yard.)  I had to hustle green can space from my neighbors.  I filled three cans, two of which were my awesome neighbors'.  

I have bought several hydrangeas, including a couple of Strawberry Vanilla hydrangeas that I have wanted for several years since I first saw them in an issue of BHG.  I will be putting them in soon.  In addition, I am putting in a Rainbird sprinkler system and some sod.   It will take me a few weeks but I think the end result will be spectacular.

I will be on a staycation for the first week of July.  For the past several years we always went out of town where Liesl would not have to be scared of fireworks going off.  I am really excited about working on my house, working on my classes and hopefully, doing some stitching and/or quilting during that week.

Here is my progress on my Prairie School patriotic smalls.  They are pretty easy to stitch and fun to work on.  Maybe, just maybe, I will get them finished before the 4th!

Have a happy week!

A Busy Weekend Around The Cozy Cottage

I am so grateful for all of the kind comments.  I wish I could adequately communicate how much your sweet comments mean to me.  They have given me so much peace and comfort.  Thank you for your prayers and good thoughts.

The weekend I have been working on my backyard.  It has been severely neglected and I have had to battle the weeds, which had been thriving with all of the California rain this year.  I had to mow, throw down some grass seed, clear the raised bed of weeds which were three feet tall and make a list of chores which need to be completed over the next few weeks.  I also got some of my herbs planted.  I am doing the Frankenstein walk and my body is talking to me, but it makes me happy and I would really like to have my yard looking good for a family barbecue on the fourth of July.

I have an Aerogarden that I use to start my seeds.  I bought the attachment which allows me to start 65 plants at a time, so I have to do some planning of my seed rotation.  One of the other managers at work and I love to grow heirloom tomatoes. We start talking seeds in December and she starts her seeds under a grow light in February and moves them into a portable green house.  My busy season at work is for the first 4-5 months of the year so I am usually late to the party.  This year I got my Aerogarden ready in early April, ready to plug in but I realized I could not find my seeds.  I go painstakingly through the Baker Street Seeds and Park Seed catalogs every year, selecting the ones which interest me and have high ratings.  I tore my house apart for weeks. looking for them like they were missing gold.  I finally found them stashed in a cabinet and started them in the Aerogarden.  These are the ones I am really excited about:

https://www.rareseeds.com/brad-s-atomic-grape-tomato/

So the plants are getting pretty big.  The lemon cucumbers started to really take over and the tomatoes and Swiss Chard were being really dramatic about it, looking like they were fainting.  So the lemon cucumbers were moved to the raised bed which has fresh soil and everything.  I am super excited!

I also got to stitch a little on my Prairie Schooler patriotic smalls.  These are really fun to stitch and the colors really pop!  I would really like to stitch all of the designs in the brochure, and put them on my table.

All of the crafters at work are super excited because we are getting a Hobby Lobby in Salinas.  It has taken them a long time and it has seemed like the project stalled for a long time, but one of my coworkers has done some recon and says that it looks like they are moving ahead.  We are all pretty excited.  We have a Michaels and JoAnn's, but we are really excited about the great sales at Hobby Lobby!

Wishing you many blessings in the week ahead!

Cross Stitching, Again

Hello, Friends,

First of all, I want to thank you very much for your kindness, in expressing condolences, sending prayers and good thoughts, and words of comfort.  It means more to me that I can ever possibly express.  I am extremely grateful to each of you for taking the time to reach out to me.  

I am doing much better, although, as is the case for many people, things got much worse before they got better.  I had a couple more really tough things happen after Liesl's passing, which led to a period of stress and wallowing in self pity.  On top of it all, the ex shared with me while Liesl was sick that he had been having an affair with his ex-girlfriend for the last year and a half of our 5 1/2 year relationship (that he admits to.)  He blamed me for making him do it. ??? I am still daunted how this was going on for so long, and the fact that I was clueless, which tells me that this was not his first time doing this.  He wanted me to return to a relationship with him.  However, having self respect, I declined.  After this, he became belligerent and verbally abusive (totally out of character for him) so I have had to block him and declare that I would have to take legal action if he continued to harass me.  I am really sad and disappointed that this relationship ended this way.  I never would have anticipated this.  

There came a point in the past several months where I realized being sad was unproductive, so I decided instead that I would have to return to living in gratitude.  I realized that I was really fortunate that I got to be Liesl's momma, and that I had amazing friends and family who supported me through all of this, I have my home, food in my stomach, etc.  So I have been returning to the things that I love.  I have started stitching again, working on my house, spending time with my kids, reading, gardening, and I have decided to go back to school to finish getting my BS in Accounting.  I start classes in two weeks and will be going to school full time (online) in addition to working full time.  It seems like a good time to do it.  I have no interest in dating or meeting anyone, so it is a good time to focus on improving myself.

Here is some of the stitching I have been doing:

 I am still working on this.  I love these patriotic smalls by Prairie Schooler.  I would like to have a little basket of these on the table for Independence Day.  In my ancestry research over the past couple of years I have found that I have several patriots in the family lineage who fought in the American Revolution.  I feel extremely proud and feel that I have to really have to celebrate the fourth with extra vigor!

A dear friend at work (she's my age) who has a new grandson coming mentioned in a conversation with someone that she has never had a baby shower.  So her department decided to throw her a Glamma Shower.  She is a very cool lady from the Bronx and it is funny because I actually grew up 16 miles away from her in North Jersey, so I got her some NY Yankees binkies and crocheted this blanket.  It is a lot bluer than it looks in the photo:

I love to crochet and cross stitch during Live PD.  I am hooked on this show because I actually work in Salinas, CA, so I recognize a lot of the scenery.  One of the officers that is sometimes on the show was actually my son's best friend from Kindergarten to 4th Grade.  I still think of them as wild little boys.  Now they are in their 30's...

One of the blessings of the past few months is that I have gotten to spend a lot more time with my daughter.  She has treated me to several pedicures and we have taken a lot of 5-7 mile walks along the Pacific.  A few weeks ago, I mentioned that I would really like to see the waterfalls and the dogwoods in bloom at Yosemite, so we got to take a little weekend girls' trip.  Her awesome husband stayed home with their kitty cat and got to have control of the TV remote for the weekend,  while we hiked all over Yosemite.  It is only 3 hours from the Monterey Peninsula, so it is a quick trip.  It was only her second trip to the park and we hiked 7 1/2 miles that day.  I had packed a great picnic and we had a great time.  Here is a photo she took of me:

My apologies for the long post, it has been a while and I had a few things to report.  I still miss my furgirl and still gently cry everyday on my way home from work, knowing she won't be there to greet me.  My friends tell me this is normal.  It will take a while...

Rest In Peace, Sweet Girl

Yesterday, at approximately 6:45 a.m., my sweet, sweet Liesl passed away in my arms at age, 11 1/2.  She had declined quickly after leaving the hospital, even the doctors and I thought she was going to be okay.  She was a special girl, and I loved her with all of my heart.  My heart feels like it has broken into a million little pieces.  She was such a big part of my life and it is hard to be in the house without her here.

What brings me peace is the knowledge that Liesl had an amazing, big life.  She went on about 30 trips in her lifetime, and went on many adventures here on the Monterey Peninsula.  It is hard to drive my car any place, because I see a place where she and I took walks.  I told her every single day of her life that I loved her.  I feel honored that I got to be her momma.  And I feel honored and privileged to be with her until the end.  I will miss her more than words can express.  

I thank you with all of my heart for all of your prayers, good thoughts, comments and love of Liesl over the years.  It means so much to me.

Miracles

Hello, Everyone,

I wish to express my heartfelt thanks to everyone who has prayed and sent good thoughts for Liesl.  I am truly grateful.  I truly believe in the power of prayer and that God hands out miracles to everyone, even small, beautiful dogs and me.  I have had a series of miracles over the past week that I would like to share.

About 2-3 weeks ago, Liesl stopped eating breakfast, but would be voracious at dinner.  She would want to eat her dinner, then a greenie, then my dinner and cookies.  Schnauzers are finicky eaters and this had not been the first time this had happened over the past 11 1/2 years.  She would do this about twice a year.  So while I was concerned, she was still playful, exercising, drinking water and acting somewhat normal.  What made me concerned was that I suddenly realized that she had not smiled for a while, but I thought she might be grieving for her daddy, who was her fun parent.  I had more activity with family during the holidays so I thought that perhaps now that no one was really coming over, that she was really missing her daddy whom we had not seen for three months.  So I called and made an appointment, however, the vet could not see her until Feb 9th.  A couple of mornings later (Wednesday), I saw her nibbling on a plant in the backyard.  She had nibbled on this plant for the past 3 years or so, but for some reason something made me google it that day.  It was Lantana which is highly toxic to dogs.  I called her daddy for the first time in months, because we had told her for years to get out of the plant.  He told me to call the vet on Friday when the office reopened, but that he was not super concerned because she had been eating the plant for so many years with no issues.  I dug that plant and every piece of it that night.

The vet took us in first thing in the morning last Friday and held Liesl to run tests.  My best friend, a nurse, went with me to pick her up. It turns out that she had never eaten enough of the Lantana to do damage, so there was not any issue there.  However, Liesl, like many schnauzers do,  had several kidney stones and something had happened and the vet felt that she was in Stage 3 Renal Failure.  She told me that I should take her to the Emergency Hospital immediately. She warned me that because of Liesl's heart condition that she may not be able to have the three day treatment because the treatment could be fatal.  I went into shock and drove her to Pet Specialists of Monterey, a 24/7 emergency hospital 5 minutes from my house.  I was so scared as Liesl had never been away from me, or her daddy, if I had to be away on business.  

This is where the miracles started to happen.  The doctor on duty immediately started treating Liesl for a kidney infection.   They had a cardiologist come to the hospital that night who said that Liesl's heart was well maintained and so they could start flushing her kidneys.  The doctor said that she felt that we were dealing primarily with a serious kidney infection.  I asked her and the other vet if they felt that it would be helpful if her daddy came to see her.  They said that while it might be difficult for me, it would most likely be very helpful for Liesl.  I did not hesitate.  I called him and burst into tears.  He was at the hospital in 10 minutes.  Liesl rejoiced when she saw him.  By that time, she was on a antibiotic drip but we were allowed to visit.  It made a huge difference.

I am a person of faith who has drifted somewhat over the past few months.  However, I prayed so hard that night.  My best friend did not want me going home that night alone so I went to her house after getting Liesl settled for the night.  I should mention here that Liesl means "God's promise." I crashed into bed that night and every time I closed my eyes I saw this brilliant golden light.  Somehow I slept and was back at the hospital at 7:30 the next morning.  I asked if I could take Liesl for a walk, so I walked her to a nearby duck pond.  I then went back and sat on a bench in front of the hospital with Liesl on my lap.  As I pet her and held her, I prayed that God would save her.  As I looked up from closing my eyes and prayer I saw this white arc forming above me.  It was so amazing that I took this photo:

I sincerely felt in my heart that this was a sign from God that Liesl would be okay.  I had never seen anything like it.  When I walked back in, the doctor saw me and came up to me smiling.  She said that she was already seeing improvement in Liesl's kidney values overnight.  I knew that God was giving us a miracle.  I also decided that every single visit I had with Liesl, I would take her outside of the hospital.  We walked,  then I would sit with her on the bench outside so that she would have fresh air and a break from all of the scariness.  

There is a church somewhat close to my home where there is a large shrine to the Blessed Virgin of Guadalupe.  Liesl and I walk there sometimes and for years Liesl has made sure before we leave the grounds, that we get to see Mary.  Liesl has always been very reverent in front of her shrine (unless there is a gopher or cat around...).  So before I met her daddy for visiting hours I went to the shrine and got down on my knees in front of the Blessed Virgin, whose shrine was still adorned for the holidays with a line of red poinsettias.  As I prayed, I felt peace on my heart and suddenly heard the words "Liesl will live a long time. Expect a miracle."  I looked up.  Directly in front of me was a potted poinsettia and something in the pot caught my eye.  It was one single bloom head of - Lantana. I realized that it was Mary and the angels who had made me Google lantana that night, which probably saved her life, because it got her to treatment.  I realized that the Blessed Mother had just told me to expect a miracle.  

I met her dad at the hospital that night and Liesl was looking more and more like herself.  I knew in my heart of hearts that she would be okay.  Her dad and I walked her and held her.  Her dad gave her a massage so she would relax.  He has been an amazing support to both of us.  I realized that I needed to let go of all of the hurt feelings and be at peace and be grateful. This is the best way I can help Liesl.

They had told me that it was only after Liesl's kidney values had stopped moving, that she would be sent home.  Her values kept dropping, so the three days passed.  Every night I returned to the shrine to pray on my knees.  On Monday night, I prayed and I heard "tomorrow is Miracle Day, expect a miracle."  I felt a sense of exuberance.  On Tuesday morning,  the doctor said she felt that Liesl could be released around 7 pm,  Tuesday evening.  I felt somewhat disappointed because it meant that the numbers had stopped moving, but I was happy she was coming home.  However, on Tuesday, at 5 pm as I was walking to my car, the doctor called me on my cellphone and said," Liesl's kidney values are dropping again, so I would like to keep flushing her system for at least another 12 hours."  My heart leapt!!!  Another miracle, as I had heard the Blessed Virgin say the day before.  I went to the shrine.  I dropped to my knees and prayed.  I heard Mary say, "Tomorrow is an even bigger miracle."  I went confidently that the next day would bring more good news.  

The next morning, Wednesday, another doctor from the team called me and said that Liesl was doing pretty well and still responding to treatment.  She said that they thought Liesl was a pretty special dog and is well taken care of.  She said that it could potentially late in the day, she might be released.  I had been visiting Liesl three times a day, so I asked if I could visit at lunch time, because I did not want Liesl to think I had abandoned her.  Schnauzers are highly emotional and I wanted to make sure to keep her mental state up in case she had to stay longer.  I arranged to bring her lunch.  I work 30 minutes away in Salinas.  I drove to the hospital,  excited to see her and smell her little doggie smell.  They told me that I had 20 minutes for a visit.  I took her for a fast walk to the pond, then hand fed her lunch.  After 20 minutes, one of the nurses came out and I got ready to hand Liesl over to her.  She said, "Oh, no.  Liesl is going home right now."  Liesl was so excited!  I asked the nurse if Liesl knows and that is why she was so elated.  She replied that the dogs always know when they are going home.   Liesl will now have an Internal Specialist as her primary doctor and she goes back in two weeks to get a check up.  The doctor who took her in discharged her, saying that she felt that Liesl was going to be okay.  She might need drips from time to time but she would be around.

Liesl was so happy and excited.  We came home and she just was beyond happy an smiley, touching everything and checking out her queendom.  

I have been a nervous wreck since she has been home.  The next day, she was very subdued.  Eating and drinking but not smiling.  I called the hospital four times because they had said to watch for lethargy and she just seemed so tired and weak compared to the day before.  They said this is normal for a little dog who has come home from the hospital.  I keep asking my friends and her daddy, who is a physical therapist, about if she is okay. They remind me that it takes about three weeks to get over a hospital stay.  I am so worried.  Her daddy comes every night to see her and make sure she eats.  While I know we will not be a couple again, he is comfort to me when he is here and we just sit and talk quietly so Liesl feels safe.  

I told him this story last evening, because I have been so worried about how I am taking care of her and if I am missing any signs.  He told me to be grateful for the miracles and not have doubts. He said that God has already rearranged the molecules in her body for healing.  I do my best not to worry, but sometimes I stumble.  Okay, I stumble a lot.

We are having a terrible storm here but I took Liesl for a ride today.  She looked a bit weak, but I want her to have some fresh air.  I drove over to the church, and stood before the Blessed Virgin asking for help and to continue Liesl's recovery.  I heard her tell me to stop worrying.  She said that she had come too far with me to abandon me.  She said that there are more miracles coming...

I am so grateful.

  

Liesl Is Home!!!!!

Just a quick post to share the news that Liesl was released from the ICU today and is home with her momma.  This little dog has some serious spoiling ahead of her!  She is not totally out of the woods and has to be checked again in a couple of weeks.  But my nurse practitioner best friend says that everyone does better at home once they get out of the hospital.

I will share more details of this journey in the next day or two.  The past week has been filled with a number of miracles that I would like to share with you.  Your prayers worked and I am truly grateful for every prayer and good thought for Liesl.  She came home and checked out her queendom then climbed into her bed and snuggled up to her teddy bear.  She is pretty tired and so is her momma...

Thank you again.  May God Bless You!

Monday Liesl Update

Thanks be to God!  So yesterday, I posted that the big hurdle for the day was for Liesl to eat something.  I cooked every single favorite food for her and took it to the hospital.  Liesl ended up eating two bites of salmon for which the staff and I were very happy.  Today, she has eaten a total of 14 1/2 bites of salmon and licked the bowl of all of the crumbs and fishy oil.  I go back tonight and will take more of all of her favorite foods.  Your prayers are so appreciated, and I wish I could express my gratitude personally to each end every person praying for her.  It means so much to me and my heart is swelled with gratitude.  

The other person to whom I am really grateful to on this journey is her daddy.  On Friday night, when she entered the hospital I called him sobbing and he was at the hospital within 10 minutes to be with her.  His presence and love for her have made a difference in her attitude and he comes at last once a day and just loves her up.  He has asked for any and all updates and makes her smile.  

Lastly, I am really thankful to my supervisor and the company I work for.  My hours are being flexed so that I can be with her at the hospital whenever they feel that she can have visitors.  I am truly grateful that I work with people who love animals, and I can not describe the relief that I feel that I will not be fired for taking care of my furgirl.  

I ask for your continued prayers.  We still have a ways to go so I appreciate every prayer sent up that contains Liesl's (pronounced Leesel's) name.

I will keep you updated with any new developments.  May God Bless you for caring about my very beautiful little furgirl.

A Little Liesl Update

I am sincerely grateful for your ongoing prayers for my sweet furgirl.  I love her more than I can express.  Fortunately, the hospital is about 5 minutes from my home and I see her as much as they will let me.  I feel so much joy as I get to hold her sweet self and I bawl my eyes out every time I have to give her back.  I count the minutes of the hours until I get to go back to her.

Out hurdle today is for her to eat something.  She looked interested this morning, so I am going this afternoon and evening with every possible food that she loves.

I humbly ask for your continued prayers.  I am truly grateful for every prayer which contains her name.

May God Bless You!

Patti and Liesl

Needing Prayers for Liesl

Hello,

I am humbly asking if you could spare a prayer or two for Liesl today.  She is in the dog hospital right now and I am beyond worried.  I believe that God is merciful and in His Grace.  So, please if your could pray for her over the next few days I would be really grateful.  I will update you as soon as I know more.  Thank you very much.

Happy New Year!

Season's Greetings and A Very Happy, Healthy and Prosperous New Year to each of you!

Well, as Charles Dickens once wrote, the past four months have been the best of times and the worst of times.  I last posted in September just prior to a two week vacation to the Redwood Coast of California.  It was a wonderful two week break from responsibility.  We had rented a beautiful house for the two weeks we were there, where we got to take lots of walks and Liesl got lots of beach time at her favorite beach.

We drove up to see the town of Mendocino, and surrounding areas on several outings.  This was one of our drives up to Point Arena to see the lighthouse there.

The area where we stayed has a second and third growth redwood forest.  It is so beautiful and peaceful there.   These trees are so huge and it is awe-inspiring to think of the periods of history over which they have stood as witness.

I enjoyed the time up there and spent a lot of time cooking, reading and stitching.  It was true blessing.   However, we were coming back to a bigger blessing and a week of wedding festivities and activity for my son's wedding the following weekend.  I was so excited because I was getting an amazing new daughter-in-law that I love so much.  They have been together for six years, and I just love her.  She has the sweetest personality, a great sense of humor and is just a great all around person.  I was so excited about the wedding, which was held at a local golf resort on such a beautiful day.  

The bride and groom both have a goofy sense of humor as you can see by their cake topper. The wedding was totally "them" and was one of the best weddings I have ever been to.  I was just so happy. 

Between the vacation and the wedding I was feeling really happy and looking forward to the holidays.   However, three days after the wedding, on a totally normal day, after a totally normal dinner, I was getting ready to go to bed, and my partner said, "Oh, hey, by the way, I signed the lease on an apartment today and I am moving out this weekend."  At the time, I was heartbroken and in shock, but thanks to God, family and friends, I feel like the worst is now behind me.  I have decided to change my perspective of this situation and now see it as an opportunity for my own growth. 

2018 has been a year of loss and change.  The loss of my mother in June has brought me a fuller awareness of life being finite and that I really need to step up to taking responsibility for my health.  A few days after his announcement, I weighed myself for the first time in years and I was shocked!!!  I could not believe the numbers I saw.  At that time, my appetite was pretty diminished, but I made a decision that I was going to buy the healthiest food possible going forward and I was going to make myself a priority.  I had been progressing away from eating meat for some time.  I just found that I did not like the texture anymore.  I still eat fish and dairy, but mostly my diet is vegetarian.  I have removed most sugar and alcohol from my diet, too.  I did indulge during the holidays, but did not go crazy.   I am proud to announce that I have lost about 20 lbs since mid October, without really trying.  I focus on the one pound ahead of me, and then the next.  I have lost one pound twenty times.

I am actually loving my diet now, although I do not think of it as a diet.  I feel better than I have in years, and my bad cholesterol has dropped 20 points!  I start my days with a strawberry, banana and orange juice smoothie, which I sip on my commute to work.  For some reason, it makes me really happy.  I have also become the queen of meal prep.  I cook on the weekends, packing pretty containers of food from recipes that I come across during the week.  Mostly, I do this for lunches, but pack extra for dinners for nights that I am too tired when I get home to cook.  

I get all sorts of recipes from Eating Well, All Recipes and Tasty on Facebook.  I get really excited about them and look forward to my exotic lunches.  I have a lot of variety in my meals and I am having so much fun preparing.  In addition, several people at work love our Instant Pots and exchange meatless recipes that are tried and true.   I am having a lot of fun with food.  Last week, the words, "Oh, my gosh, I made the best quinoa dish for lunch" actually left my lips.  LOL

I decided early on with this situation that forgiveness was going to be critical for my own peace going forward.  I walked through a lot of sadness early on in this situation, but I did not walk alone, I had people who love me hold my hand through this journey.  I am grateful that I had the relationship we had and for the good times.  Within a couple of weeks, he apologized and asked to reconcile but a reconciliation is not something I can consider right now after all that occurred.  But I do wish him peace and happiness.

For right now, I have big plans, including a plan for my garden this year.  I am so excited and need to start ordering tomato seeds!  If you are on the hunt for heirloom tomato seeds, this is the catalog for you!

Happy New Year!