Cross Stitching, Again

Hello, Friends,

First of all, I want to thank you very much for your kindness, in expressing condolences, sending prayers and good thoughts, and words of comfort.  It means more to me that I can ever possibly express.  I am extremely grateful to each of you for taking the time to reach out to me.  

I am doing much better, although, as is the case for many people, things got much worse before they got better.  I had a couple more really tough things happen after Liesl's passing, which led to a period of stress and wallowing in self pity.  On top of it all, the ex shared with me while Liesl was sick that he had been having an affair with his ex-girlfriend for the last year and a half of our 5 1/2 year relationship (that he admits to.)  He blamed me for making him do it. ??? I am still daunted how this was going on for so long, and the fact that I was clueless, which tells me that this was not his first time doing this.  He wanted me to return to a relationship with him.  However, having self respect, I declined.  After this, he became belligerent and verbally abusive (totally out of character for him) so I have had to block him and declare that I would have to take legal action if he continued to harass me.  I am really sad and disappointed that this relationship ended this way.  I never would have anticipated this.  

There came a point in the past several months where I realized being sad was unproductive, so I decided instead that I would have to return to living in gratitude.  I realized that I was really fortunate that I got to be Liesl's momma, and that I had amazing friends and family who supported me through all of this, I have my home, food in my stomach, etc.  So I have been returning to the things that I love.  I have started stitching again, working on my house, spending time with my kids, reading, gardening, and I have decided to go back to school to finish getting my BS in Accounting.  I start classes in two weeks and will be going to school full time (online) in addition to working full time.  It seems like a good time to do it.  I have no interest in dating or meeting anyone, so it is a good time to focus on improving myself.

Here is some of the stitching I have been doing:

 I am still working on this.  I love these patriotic smalls by Prairie Schooler.  I would like to have a little basket of these on the table for Independence Day.  In my ancestry research over the past couple of years I have found that I have several patriots in the family lineage who fought in the American Revolution.  I feel extremely proud and feel that I have to really have to celebrate the fourth with extra vigor!

A dear friend at work (she's my age) who has a new grandson coming mentioned in a conversation with someone that she has never had a baby shower.  So her department decided to throw her a Glamma Shower.  She is a very cool lady from the Bronx and it is funny because I actually grew up 16 miles away from her in North Jersey, so I got her some NY Yankees binkies and crocheted this blanket.  It is a lot bluer than it looks in the photo:

I love to crochet and cross stitch during Live PD.  I am hooked on this show because I actually work in Salinas, CA, so I recognize a lot of the scenery.  One of the officers that is sometimes on the show was actually my son's best friend from Kindergarten to 4th Grade.  I still think of them as wild little boys.  Now they are in their 30's...

One of the blessings of the past few months is that I have gotten to spend a lot more time with my daughter.  She has treated me to several pedicures and we have taken a lot of 5-7 mile walks along the Pacific.  A few weeks ago, I mentioned that I would really like to see the waterfalls and the dogwoods in bloom at Yosemite, so we got to take a little weekend girls' trip.  Her awesome husband stayed home with their kitty cat and got to have control of the TV remote for the weekend,  while we hiked all over Yosemite.  It is only 3 hours from the Monterey Peninsula, so it is a quick trip.  It was only her second trip to the park and we hiked 7 1/2 miles that day.  I had packed a great picnic and we had a great time.  Here is a photo she took of me:

My apologies for the long post, it has been a while and I had a few things to report.  I still miss my furgirl and still gently cry everyday on my way home from work, knowing she won't be there to greet me.  My friends tell me this is normal.  It will take a while...